I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.

I hate being misunderstood. Mainly when I say something and someone takes it the complete wrong way. And I know that, to certain people, I cannot make someone understand the way I intended it to come across, the way I thought it did come across. I know we're in a horrible financial situation. I know stress levels are at an all time high. I know what's going on. I'm not naive. But. My family is always calling me selfish and disrespectful. Is it so hard to realize how stressed I just might be? I am constantly giving them my money. I'm constantly having to run everywhere and do things for them. I have to deal with complaints from Courtney and Haley and I have to keep gas in both cars so I can use whichever of them I need to in order to do whatever they want. I have to deal with my parent's complaints about how I'm just not good enough. It doesn't have as much affect when they tell me they're proud of everything I've done after they've just complained about everything I'm not good enough for. I'm trying my fucking hardest, you know? I'm a human, too. I'm not just the daughter or sister. I'm a person. They don't know what I've been through this year. They don't know that I nearly lost contact with the majority of my best friends. They don't know how many times suicide has crossed my mind and seemed like the better idea this year. They don't know how many nights I've cried myself asleep. They think they know so much about me. But I'm a person. And though I'd prefer to be a simple person, I'm very much complex. And I don't tell them everything because..families shouldn't know everything about each other. Just because I'm their child or sister doesn't give them the right to know everything about me. It's not even that I'm a bad kid, I just don't want everything about me to be known. There are thoughts and things that aren't meant for anyone to hear.
-sigh- If you read this, don't worry. I'm not depressed or whatever, I'm really not. It's just things like that bother me immensely. I just hate being misunderstood, that's all.