I've been trying to reach you.

(But your extension cord wouldn't reach that far)

I wish I could teleport.

I really, really do.

It would make life so much more convenient.

Sheamus said when I'm rich, he'd be my pilot.

<3

*poof*

Still can't teleport.

:(

I don't know what to do any more.

One, two, and three.
What to do?
How to handle the situations?
Who to choose?

Triangles are such dangerous shapes.
Pointy on all three ends.
Someone is BOUND to get hurt.
:/

I need to vent.

I'm in a situation.
And it's a bit tricky.
And I have no idea how to handle it.
Because A) I don't even know if Person A is just kidding and B) I've never dealt with this scenario before.
Um, I don't know who I can explain this to.
Honestly, I'm so freaking confused at the moment.
Also.
I'm like, the most open minded person, ever.
Okay, not really, because some things I draw boundaries on.
Like age.
I don't care if one person is a few years older.
I have quite a few friends who are dating people aged 23-25ish.
And that doesn't bother me.
What does bother me, though, is when I, or anyone else my age for that matter, get hit on by some old guy.
Like older than my daddy, freaking me the fuck out old.
It's just so creepy.
I can't deal with it.
But then the issue of me being too nice often gets in the way of me yelling at said creepy person.
Though, I really, REALLY would love to yell at them.
I mean, srsly.
What if they have kids my age?
That. Is. Disturbing.
And, okay, some people are all, "Oh, but you're eighteen now, so it doesn't matter any more. It's legal.."
That is the worst fucking excuse I've EVER heard of.
Just. Ugh.

And the scenario I was being abnormally vague about at the beginning has absolutely NOTHING to do with age, hah.
I do not have some weird crush on some old creeper.
Not at ALL.
Ugh, I'm weird, but fucking Christ.
I'm not that messed up.
It's just..a really complicated thing.
Or, it's really not.
The situation itself is nothing complicated.
But the situations STEMMED from the scenario can be quite messed up.
And I don't know how to weave through all the delicate webs it will create.
I have no idea how to handle the situation.
I'm going to disappoint someone either way.
Granted, I don't think it's anything worth getting upset over.
But..it has a lot to do with WHERE I live/where I was raised.
And the people I grew up around.
I feel like a jerk.
Because I don't feel like it's wrong, but I know it's something kinda controversial.
And, just ugh.
I'll find someone to explain it to.
Because if you really don't know me, then you won't get it.
And I just can't be bothered trying to explain.
Especially on here.
Considering I don't even think anyone reads this, hah.
Or, if anyone does, I don't know they do.

Bahhhh, no me gusta.
Doesn't help that I read an old message from May.
During a very BAD time in my life.
And just.
I think I need to like, walk or something.
I'm thinking too much.

Solitary moment.

This solitary moment makes me want to come back home.
It's not that I'm not having fun here, or that I'm not enjoying NOLA.
I am.
I really, really am.
But at the same time.
I really freaking miss my family and friends.
Like, hardcore miss them.
I've never been separated like this in my entire life.
Definitely not something you get used to super fast.
Unless you like, hate your family or friends, or whatever.
Which is so not the case for me.
Because I miss them.

I want my best friends.
I need my best friends.
<.3

Seriously.

I miss my friends.
I miss my family.
I miss my pets.
I miss football season.
I miss hugs.
I miss the beach.
I miss my bed.
I miss conversations with Courtney.
I miss going to the movies.
I miss the comfort.
I miss a paycheck every week.
(Once a month here. It blows.)

:(

National Type Out Your Thoughts Day.

Hmm, what's on my mind.
Well, here we go.
(in no order, mind you.)

-I really do not like packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking. It gets so tedious. And every time I unpack it seems there's another reason for me to pack up on the way. College, hurricanes, home, college.. It's getting crazy and I sincerely do not appreciate having to do it so many times.
-That being said, I miss my Gulf Shores friends. I think it's a lot harder this time because I had just started to get used to the idea of not having them around constantly, and despite the fact that it wasn't exactly a pleasant thought, it was better than it is now. I spent time with them this week and saying goodbye this time was way harder. Even if it didn't seem like I was upset or whatever, I really was. I miss them. Badly.
-My dog ran away while I was home. Harley. She was missing for four days and then, after my family had dropped me off at Loyola and made it home, she was in our front yard. I was really happy to know that she was found again, but definitely bummed that I didn't get to see her before I left.
-We're getting a new dog, too. His name is Blackie and he's a big 70-80lb dog. And he apparently doesn't like cats, but does like giving kisses and chasing horses in a completely harmless way. I didn't even get to see him, either.
-Speaking of not being able to get to see people, I didn't get to see Bree before I left, which was a definite bummer considering she's one of my dearest friends, ever, and I really wanted to see her. I almost wish I wouldn't have gone to the football game Friday, but then I wouldn't have seen Sam or Gen or everybody else there, and that would have sucked too. I can't ever seem to win in the friend department. I always feel like I have to choose one person over another for this reason or that reason. And I don't think it's fair. Because then some people get offended when I don't consider them my ONE best friend. But in all honesty? I don't really have one best friend. One best guy friend, sure, but not one best friend in general. And, the fact is, I don't even fully trust some of my best friends because, as much as I love them, they're very two-faced and it's hard to trust someone when you've seen them talking behind someone's back. I just..I dunno. It's hard to explain without coming off as a bitch, which isn't my intention at all.
-Okay, so. My roommate is kinda weird. I mean, she's nice enough. But. She's so..awkward, really. Like. The kind of person who makes jokes that really aren't funny and drags out stories to the point that you have idea what they're talking about anymore. That kinda thing. And she isn't social, at all. She has this boyfriend that she's been dating for nearly two years and always talks about him. Okay, not always, but ya know. I'm pretty sure thinks she's way prettier than she is, too. I'm not saying she's ugly, she's just more or less average looking. And when she was talking about going to her job tonight, she said she was so glad she found pants to wear because she thought the only bottoms she had left to wear was a mini skirt and walking down NOLA at night in a mini skirt just isn't smart and she gets weird looks when she walks down the street during the day so she can't even imagine what it would be like at night. That's how she talks, too, I swear. Overall, we get along fine, but she's not best friend material. I prefer my redheaded boys and eclectic girls.
-These dorm rooms are freaking cold. Like. I don't know what to do with myself because I can't just fix coldness, cold.
-So, I'm kinda lonely at Loyola. I've made friends and all, because I like to talk and socialize, so that's not the problem. It's just I don't know that I've particularly clicked with one group, ya know? Like. In high school, I had the group of friends that I had grown up. I had my band kids. I had the ones I met via CLC, hah. And, I mean, I pretty much got along with most people. It was never an issue. And you knew everyone, really. Not -knew- everyone, but at least pretty much knew of everyone. And here, I -know- Millie, Ashley, and Bree. And that's not to say we hang out, hah. Because they're partiers and I'm really just not. I prefer one-on-one hanging out with people. I feel like I would have met more people if I would have done something in music. Because my game losing trumpet player friend from Rhode Island (ha, not Gulf Shores. I know it sounds like Sam. But, seriously, they're very similiar.) that I had talked to prior to coming to Loyola..well, we don't really talk. At all. Because I don't ever see him considering he has all music classes and I have all pre-med classes in the ugly submarine building. I guess it'll all work out in time.
-I think my English teacher is great. He reminds me of an older Dixon. XD
-Gah, I just really wish everything would be just peachy and work out. In life in general. Not just for me, but for my family as well. It's just so...shitty right now. It doesn't seem fair. Not that I think life is fair. But, still.

Every fucking song.

What bothers me more than most things.
Is when I hear so many songs and I only think of one person.
I hate letting someone take over my thoughts like that.

I'm too tired to pretend that it doesn't hurt to be left out.